Keeping Onward.

I desperately need to throw some of my "wackness" out there today.
There have been a series of mornings where an annoying alarm clock has blasted its aggravating ring at me. An abrupt wake up call- and more than just bringing me back to life from my deep slumber, but pushing a button at the core of my being, "you can't do this."

Day after day, my feet stumble at the path that is creating itself before each me. Falling, the gravel getting caught in old wounds, causing discomfort and doubt.

©brokenimagery

Success does not happen overnight. Moving 3,500 miles away from everything you know and life becoming "picture perfect" does not come along with your scattered belongings. 

Facing a vulnerable and very real version of ones self in such a point of transition is incredibly overwhelming. My head has felt like it is about to spin off, dizzy, nauseous, and a tremble that won't go away. Craving a way out, and the only thing that comes to mind is running back to the familiar- but that's not always the best move. 

There's this secret ability to fight, preserver, and continue on breathing when I don't want to. I don't know where it comes from, I don't know why it's there, but it is. My only outlet is writing it out like a map, so that I can remind myself of this "strength" that's embedded in my DNA. 

To those that remain there, on the sidelines of my journey, I thank-you. The times that you shout out "Keep going" nourishes that very will. And the times that you are silent, I can still feel your love and support, your spirit gives me a hand up when I can't imagine taking in another breath. Through the streaks of my tears, I wipe away the dirt that covers my face, and I do the only thing I really know: keep onward.