"Bring Me down."

I stood in the middle of a dark haze earlier this evening. Managing to make my way from Medford (Me-fud) to Davis Square, hesitantly making my way down the entrance to the T...just missing the Red Line inbound of course, I sat with myself, my bag, no music, and a stream of thoughts. The smell of the subway, the heat that feels like a muggy day in Atlanta- it's almost as if I could close my eyes and instantly be surrounded by my friends and made up family of the South. That moment was brief, beautiful and interrupted by the "See something Say something" PSA that has been annoyingly repeating itself here in Boston, if you ride the T, you know exactly what I mean.


My train started to make it's way through the tunnel just down the way from where I sat, I could see the lights reflection on the old wall that be its guiding path. I stood, gathering my belongings, and stepped onward to the yellow "docking pad" for our pedestrian feet. Doors opened, sluggishly so, I stepped through, and found my way to an open seat on a crowded train full of suits and sneakers.

Finally I arrived to Park Street and jumped the Green Line at dock D...I was a girl on a mission. Today I obtained my Boston Public Library Card. It's a sense of belonging here, affirming Boston as my home. You'd think that getting my drivers license conversion to be that official moment, but nope, it was the library card that pushed that button.

©brokenimagery

I stepped off the Train at Copley Square and walked up the steps to the street that blared with city lights, and the annoyance, yet beautiful sounds of a busy city. Cars honking, police officers blowing whistles to direct the mass pedestrian population making its way home, or to the plethora of bars in the area for an evening night cap.

The sky was magical. A mist covering all the tops of the buildings, leaving a mysterious longing for what was happening beyond my eyes sight. I pinched myself, for the moment was so surreal...though crowded by the heavy traffic of folks around me, tourists snapping photos in front our countries historical landmarks, and here I was, home.

I can't help but retreat back to this building that got cut off like a  sentence interrupted mid way through. My life feels much like the building that stood strong before me tonight- sturdy, lit up with life, but its head not visible, lost in a world that no eyes could see.

There's no making sense of things really. We want to pretend that we can see everything that surrounds us, that we can see long into the horizon and what's headed our way. But I have to say, for me, in my life, I feel like there's this dark haze that surrounds me- nothing visible, not a single prediction.

If it doesn't subside, I say let it collapse like the final piece being pulled away from a tower of Jinga. What's the harm? It's predictable, and it brings us down from that dark haze. Bring me down I say, bring me down.