dear oregon...

suddenly i crave the smell of rain leaving its mark on the doug firs that dress the towns, mountains, rivers, and cities in my beloved oregon. standing next to the metolius river, and hearing the roar of its passion, and the scent that can only be the ponderosa pines...the aroma of local coffee houses brewing and serving up their fresh pots...the familiarity of faces that walk past you on the sidewalk...

the daily hugs that you someday realize you take for granted...the sound of your nieces and nephews when they see you on a visit- because you're the aunt that they hardly ever see...eyes to look into that know you so well that you don't have to speak a word and they get it...
to the sky that remains forever the same, that no matter where your feet take you, you can look up and see what you see, where ever it is that you go...

i haven't slept in my own bed for two nights now, and suddenly now that i am home, i am realizing how much i miss the one that holds a chunk of my heart across the country...to oregon, and all the beautiful, lovely, individuals that it holds close and warm in this (lucky for you, spring like) winter of yours, i miss your faces. i miss even the most dysfunctional of love. like they always say, "No matter where you go, there you are." there's comfort in this old saying, but to be honest it takes time to get there and to be able to accept it. however, it's going somewhere new, and you just can't suffice off that old trick...your left alone, once again, to figure out how it all can come back together...how you can get back on top of that building where you belong- back home.