late night chit chat.

It's amazing what time away does for your mind, heart, and soul. I find myself horribly anxious upon my return to the North West in a matter of a few hours. My brain spinning webs a hundred miles per hour. My heart blasting out shouts of joy, happy memories, and something I have let go, but at the same time I'll never forget. How can I? A softness in someones eyes that looked right past you- past your fronts and walls...slowly, gently, and quickly walking the tower I had built in front of my heart. No, I keep that. I smile at even the thought of it. It's good to remember the good, that's what we need to hold onto in this life.

My time in the NW will fly as quickly as the past 11 months have...a complete whirlspin, chaos, bravery in walking out of a home that I felt imprisoned in, to a world that offered such amazing warmth and love to my damaged being- just a splinter of time really. Things happen, things that you want to fix but you can't and our roads split in life and off we go to our individual journeys. Some times you walk side by side in certain times, and others you venture alone, or with those that have been on your road for many years.

©brokenimagery

Boston was a long road out of nowhere. Shortly before I departed, I had lunch with a friend, and she said, "You might not come back.." I disagreed. For some reason I made it a rule for myself to give it one more year in Portland...because that's what I do, I give myself a year in a new place to see if I can make it work. Something I am just coming to figure out, is that sometimes it takes more than a year. And more importantly, something I've been scared to death to do, but am slowly stepping out on the ledge; be me. Live my life. Create. Write. Love. Don't be fearful of the things that are gifts to me because I am scared I'll fail- or even more succeed. I can't wait to wave off this 2010 to the past...

2011 is going to be a good one...and I take all the lessons learned, good and bad, and the smiles from those I cherish into the new year that is quickly approaching.