pensive on a late night...

©brokenimagery

Today was a much needed realization. I, Pamela, "Broken Imagery" was refreshed. I forgot what a tangible love looked/felt like.

I grew up, in the midst of extreme emotions. Already being a sensitive (yes I said it, "sensitive") individual this was not an easy journey. Confused by what loved looked and felt like, my world has gone through a whirlwind of some sorts.

About four to five years ago I landed on foreign ground; the South. Knowing one individual, and slightly her family, I was quick to be a dry sponge at the bottom of the salty sea- absorbing every bit of love that I could. Not that I was never loved before- but just not given it in the way that I needed it.

Today I realized how much the South taught me that. A large circle of friends that see me for what I am. All of me, flaws, beauty, acceptance, and the loving nature that I hold so closely. I was reminded of the courage and strength that I left the South with many years ago. This is where I belong...and by the I don't mean necessarily the South- but just away from the west coast. This is a big wake-up call.

To my "Mother of the South" I say thank-you for your continuous love, acceptance, and nurturing behavior. Sometimes I don't don't know how to accept it...fearful that I may mess up, do something that will make a barrier between you and I...this is a fear I must release. For you have been an example of what "Love" is- and more importantly, the love that I deserve, and am rightfully owed. I am sorry if I have been "standoffish", it's only out of fear that you may see the mess I am, and in the chaos that your life is in right now, not be able to spare the love that I crave. Tonight, at this late hour, I know that my insecurities are just that. Thank-you for always being there- even when you are swamped with what life dumps at your front door. You must know that you have made a distance difference in this life- me. I am a stronger woman having met you, and more importantly, being loved by you. Thank-you....