"No Trespassing"

Does anyone out there ever find relief when the life ahead of you seems like a blank script? Pages and pages stacked high next to an old Woodstock typewriter...pages that are as white as they can possibly get. As of lately, that's how I feel my future looks. Yet, when I stand completely bare in front of a mirror, all I can see is the blue of my eyes, and a body covered in ink- the very liquid that belongs to a steel ball wrapped in ribbon inside its little home...some words are legible on me, others smeared leaving nothing but a mystery to which sentence it may make its home...or perhaps which paragraphed it had just ended at.

Throughout this journey of mine, I have found many doors open with this clean slate beyond it. This is both comforting and overwhelming all at once- and let me be frank, that's pretty intense. However, there are some doors that creep open, with a dark shadow leading all the way down to where a beam of light makes its way visible. Do I know where a road like this can take me? Yes. Have I ventured down a multitude of these paths- yes. Even greater, do I wish to repeat the same dead ended journeys that I have frequented throughout the past that be my life? No.

©brokenimagery

There are countless things that I have gathered on my journey to the North East, and South East. Hands have appeared, familiar ones, cupped with love and acceptance. Arms full of nurturing embraces that this body has not felt in some time. In this action of love becoming foreign to me, I have not known how to accept it with ease- rather fearful of what pain could be inflicted on me. This is wrong. This behavior, or rather should I say, reaction is a false "No Trespassing" sign nailed repeatedly on my chest...the nails beaten hard into my ribcage, my collarbone, and pierced right through my heart. 

Learning to leave behind a past is difficult. In my opinion you must face its dark lurking disguise of a familiar history, see why it is that you are letting go, and then slowly start to remove its attachment from you and release it out to the world where it can never be touched again. 

Where is your "No Trespassing" sign located? Is it behind you? In front of you...tucked away in your back pocket, locked in a box, or sitting on a shelve that resides inside your heart? There is one thing that we can all share in common, in my belief, and that is we should never go down those often traveled roads that be endless and lifeless. They exist, they're tangle- and most importantly, often dangerous.


Perhaps in my choosing a new door to open, and a blank script, I can shut the many doors that surround me...the ones that have been traveled like a trucker doing a non stop coast too coast drop off, pick up, drop off and etc. 


A friend of mine and I were talking before I left Portland for the North East. This conversation led its way into self-manifestation. What do we want? Where do we want to be? If it's desired bad enough, we can take that, let it dwell within us, nurture it with care and love, and watch it come to fruition. As I do this, one blank sheet of paper slowly slips into that old Woodstock, curling itself around the bend, and the sound of one key at time punches itself the story that be my chapter II: "Trespassers Welcome."